Falling down and I’m feeling nothing.
I weep sweetly but nothing gets through to you
My own reflection is cold and hateful and I can no longer deny this urge
I see your vile face in my own
I want to tear you out of me
And in my dreams I hear my screams…
Never stick your hand in my face again,
Get ready, it’s coming for you.
Fear my violence, inconsequential, my identity
Tick tock…tick tock…slipping away.
I can feel your fear inside of my own heart as my words rip into you
If I cut you, you’d bleed air, no warmth, just stale death.
Where along this road did you die?
Awaken with your life covering me, you were too damn good.
I am alone again, but oh, mommy, I will always be your loving son,
Living in a world of the dead and the lonely – in a world of shit
A world that you created when your soul began to rot.
She brought meaning to this empty existence
I beg her not to turn away, to hear the words I’ve spoken
She let the darkness cover me, denied everything and slowly walked away
I beg her to carry me away, to give me her strength
But here I am, on my own, living just to hear her one last time.
Father, please forgive me; the pain was just too much to bear.
Demented screeches and blank faces, and you weren’t there.
I begged for you, cried for you, needed you to be strong for me once again.
At the end of it all, all the hurt, the prayer
At the end, all that mattered is you just weren’t there.
Staring at your picture, we were so happy once
Do you remember the good times, pop?
Do you remember the laughter?
It all ended so quickly, no warning, no time for goodbyes
And all I wanted was for you to be here.
Where are your nursery rhymes now? Where is your jazz?
Where is the love and the feeling and the meaning?
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
Why does the past have to linger in my dreams and my waking nightmare?
The memory can’t just die, slip away with the warmth of your voice.
My chest glimmered in sweat as she shivered in the cold
The soft skin split, blood slithers over my arms in streams of significance
Felt the walls oozing away, her eyes crossed over mine
Her legs were weak, my head spun
No one can save us from the inescapable claws of darkness
My mind wanders and I forget what I have done.
The whimsical blue sky held the sun that shone brightly
Displayed the rich umber banisters of her porch
The light decorated the falcon brown steps where she once sat
Still for hours, barely breathing, eyes reflecting mine, but never seeing.
No one will ever know my story or understand why
I fade away knowing my intentions will be mangled.
“This confession has meant nothing…”
(the last line is the last line from American Psycho)
Hope you enjoyed!